Richard C Shumaker

My Wife Lil Richard C Shumaker

The doctors said Lil had massive stroke damage to the brain, advanced Dementia, clots in the left ventricle, and was unable to feed herself; thus, the feeding tube in the nose. She cannot be cured and would never recover. The way we saw her in bed was the best that it gets. I needed to decide to pull the feeding tube and let her pass in peace. The family agreed and I asked the nurse to pull the tube. She was left to die by starvation, but she would not be in pain. She would be comfortable. Here is the way I see it. I was asked to kill my wife for over 30 years because the doctors did not have a way to cure her. Let her die in peace they said. She would not have anything to say in the matter. Lil was at our mercy and we would show none. Pull the tube. That way, we could feel we had done what was best for her. We would feel sorrow, but not have to worry about her suffering. My wife is dead, and I miss her dearly. Even in the worst of times, she was nearby. Now I will never see her. Did I do what was best for her or best for those around her? I will never know. All I know is that I will never forgive myself for acting like God and pulling the tube.