Berenice E Kleiman

Widowhood 101 Berenice E Kleiman

Imagine yourself dealing with spousal loss and discovering that ALL your income sources have suddenly frozen, including bank accounts, Social Security, pension, and brokerage accounts. You have a mound of paper work and need access to the death certificate, safe deposit box and/or legal papers, even your original Social Security card to prove your identity, marriage and loss. But with Covid-19 banks and government offices are closed. As a matter of fact, you can't even have a formal funeral, wake, Shiva or bereavement to help you mourn your loss. A mountain of demands and paper work stretches out before you with little support or ability to fill out the forms and reopen these accounts. This was the situation I encountered in April 2020 when even my husband's death certificate took eight weeks to arrive. Caught in grief and loss, I vowed as I fought through these challenges that I would leave a trail for others who follow me. I wrote WIDOWHOOD 101 to help widows and widowers prepare for these next steps. Few of us know that our wills and powers of attorney are only two small parts of this new equation. Each chapter ends with "Lessons Learned" to help make your passage easier. This book is targeted to those generally 65 or older, who have a comfortable financial base and have had long marriages. It not only includes my experience but also is based on about 40 interviews with friends and their friends of comparable backgrounds, most of whom were not caught in Covid-19. But they still ran into buzz saws. Among the tips to share: COMMUNICATE with your spouse about end-of-life decisions far in advance, including nursing home vs. home care; burial vs. cremation; even the type of ceremony preferred; COMMUNICATE about your finances and have all pertinent records in one place with accessibility that you share not only with each other but also with your executor. IF A SECOND MARRIAGE involving children in one or both, make sure you have an excellent estate attorney to protect all rights from challenges, especially an attorney not planning to retire in the next couple of years. WIDOWHOOD 101: NEXT STEPS is my story, my grief and all. It's honest...and hopefully will be helpful.